The Only Guarantee in Life is Change

The only guarantee in life is change. This I learned many years ago.

After much consideration (and stress) we have decided to put the triplets into day care instead of hiring another nanny. I am really nervous about this but the last couple weeks can’t happen again. We were prepared for our nanny to call out sick every once in awhile but we were not prepared for her to have to leave suddenly and indefinitely (due to uncontrollable circumstances). When we interviewed for a nanny before, the babies were still in the hospital and I was on maternity leave so we were lucky to have the time to devote to make sure we picked the right person. This time we do not and I don’t want to feel rushed into making such an important decision. This way if we end up not adjusting well to the day care it will buy us some time to search for a new nanny and take our time with the process. Right now I find myself rushing home from work to help Tommy who has been with the babies all day by himself and working from home at the same time. And I am rushing out the door in the morning, leaving Tommy with the babies, the laundry, the dishes, etc., to go to work. We have been fortunate to have some friends of the family helping us periodically which has honestly saved us. We are doing our best to give 100% to every aspect of our lives, and each other but it’s tough some days, being pulled so many directions. It’s nothing we can’t handle. Hey, given everything we have been through, we can handle almost anything, but it’s certainly not always easy. When it comes right down to it though, I am not facing anything that other parents out there aren’t facing, trying to juggle it all. This is not a new concept for a lot of you. This is part of being a mom, I get it now. And just as I learned when I was pregnant, I have a new found respect for all of you, moms and dads that is. I am learning as I go here. Anyway, one of us staying home with the baby’s full time is just not an option at this point. So off to day care they go. I feel like we had them cared for at home with a nanny when they really needed it, when their bodies were still premature and their immune systems weak, and during RSV season. Now they are thriving, and the doctors say they are bigger than most 7 month old premature babies. Yay! I feel like they are ready to go into the world and conquer it! In day care they will get to interact with other babies and there will be people there that can play with them and help with the developmental stuff, which honestly, our nanny did not have a lot of experience with. Yes, they will likely get sick more often, especially at first, and although I hate the thought of them being sick, I hope it will build their immune system. I seem fine with this all now; however I know on their first day I will probably shed a tear or two and worry about them all day long. They start July2nd. Eeek. This is a huge change for us. Trusting other people with our precious babies outside of our home where we can’t keep an eye on them. I have to trust this is the best thing for our family though.

We had an appointment with the developmental pediatrician today. The babies are doing so great. Both Mickey and Georgia can sit unassisted for short periods of time, although Mickey probably more so than Georgia. Mickey has two teeth now on the bottom but the girls are still waiting for theirs. Jolynne is holding her bottle on her own for the most part. It’s a little heavy at the beginning but after she drinks a little she does very well. Mickey’s head shape and torticollis is much improved. They do not think he will need a helmet, although he still orientates and uses his left side much more so we need to work with him on that. Georgia is still our biggest at 16 pounds, 6 ounces. Mickey comes in second at 16 pounds 1 ounce and our peanut Jo, is 14 pounds 8 ounces. Georgia and Jo are the same length but not width J at 24 inches long, and Mickey is longer than both of them at 25 ¾ inches long. Although their adjusted age is 5.5 months, their size and development is more like 6.5 months which I am happy with. They will be 8 months next week and I feel like they are catching up. I hope the move to day care will not be too difficult for them. It will probably be harder on me than them I am guessing. Time will tell.

At the end of the day, even with the stress lately, the good always outweighs the bad. If I am having a bad day, I can pick up my babies and hold them tight and know that all is good with my world. Being a mom to triplets, just like everything else in my life has only made me stronger, wiser and with a greater appreciation for family and the little things that so many take for granted. I try to make a conscious effort no matter how stressed I am to stop and be grateful for all the blessings in my life and I try not to get to frustrated with the every day stuff that really when we think about is not all that good of reason to be frustrated, but I have my moments just the same. Don’t we all? This blog is an outlet for me and reminder of all that my babies have overcome. Their strength is an inspiration to me and hopefully others as well. So, that is part of why I write here, to keep all these life experiences and theirs close to mind and close to my heart. I know I am probably biased because I’m their mom but just look at them – they are AMAZING!

Just when we thought we had a plan...

I thought it might be time for a new blog update. I remember the days when I was updating the blog at least once a week. Now I am lucky if I can get to it once a month. This time last year I think I was already on modified bed rest or getting close to it at that point. I spent a lot of time lying on the couch with my feet up and I had the time to write and post pictures. Now everything I do is on my phone, because I am never sitting on the couch with my feet up and if I am it’s after the babies are in bed and I am too tired to write. So funny how different everything is now. I went from being super bored out of my mind on bed rest to spending every day in the hospital for three months after the babies were born, to trying to juggle caring for them, playing with them, work, dogs, and somehow be a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend to everyone else. Sheesh! I am sure I am making lots of mistakes, but hey what can you do? These last couple weeks have been especially chaotic. Our nanny who we love and the babies love is very sick and not able to help us any longer. We are very sad about this, but mostly sad about her situation. She is very young and facing an extremely dangerous illness. Its life or death, so I guess our situation seems pretty simple when you think about it. And it is. When I think back to how close we were to losing Jolynne those first few days, this is nothing really. Nothing we can’t handle. So, we are looking for a new nanny, someone as patient and flexible as the last one, and on top of that trying to find a new home for one of our dogs, Maddox. It’s a very tough decision and one I won’t speak too much about because it’s just very hard, but we know as spread thin as we are now, we cannot give him the love and attention he needs and deserves.

The babies are growing so fast! They are 7 months now, 5.5 months adjusted. They are all over the place! Jolynne is scooting everywhere. If she sees something she wants she starts moving towards it. She’s the smallest but she gets around more than the other two. She and Georgia are really starting to act more like the twins that they are. They make some of the same facial expressions and sounds and its really stinking cute! Mickey, our big, strong boy, is very sensitive. He doesn’t like loud noises or running water, or really any water very much. He doesn’t like to be out of our sight and he doesn’t like to wait for his food. He is very demanding. He yells a lot when we are with the girls and slams his hands down in protest. I think he thinks he is an only child. Oh boy, is he in for a surprise! They are so great though. Their personalities are so awesome. We have started taking them out more to restaurants and other people’s houses. It’s a lot of work, it’s a process, but nice to be out and about, and also make us appreciate the days we are just at home with nowhere to be. For awhile there we both felt kind of stuck at home with the babies. I think we are all becoming a little more mobile now. I am really looking forward to them being able to hold their own bottles. Right now we have bottles 4 times a day and baby food three times a day and we are doing it all. When they can hold their own bottles that will at least free up a little time, so that we can be doing other things, like laundry! LOL. We do baby laundry every day. First of all we have to change their sheets every day because they drool and spit up all over them during naps. The activity mats and blankets, same thing only worse! And their high chairs are a disaster. When we get done feeding them, there is mush everywhere; the seats, the trays, their clothes, their hair, their legs, the floor, and I’m sure the walls are next. It’s almost a full time job just trying to keep all their stuff clean! BUT, it’s also very entertaining! Sometimes, I sit back in awe of them! How wonderful they are and when they look at me and smile, I am puddy in their hands. Sometimes I do wish I had more time to spend with each of them. When I leave for work they are just waking up and when I get home, I am here for one round of bottles and dinner and baths before bed. Remember with three babies everything takes three times as long, so the one thing you are missing is that one on one time that I sometimes wish I had with each of them. But I am triple blessed and wouldn’t have it any other way. I thought to myself today when I started to stress about finding someone to watch the babies until we found another nanny, there is no time to stress, only do, and so I did.

Family Swimming Picture with Special Guest, Matthew (my nephew)

Nana and Georgia

Georgia 7 months

Jolynne 7 months

Mickey 7  months

Rolling Along

This is my first blog entry in awhile. Things have been so busy around here. The babies are growing so much! They are 6 months now. I can’t wait to have some new pictures taken this weekend. Sunday will be my very first Mothers Day. It will be such a sweet day for me no matter what we do. This time last year, Tommy and I just learned we were having triplets! I was barely 6 weeks pregnant at that point. We were mostly scared and nervous, but that quickly turned into joy and excitement. Hard to imagine it all happening any other way at this point. I feel so lucky in so many ways I can’t even explain.

The babies are all busy teething at this point. It’s so much fun!! Ha Ha! They have got their fingers in their mouth all the time; they are drooling everywhere and extra cranky. Tommy just LOVES all the drool! Actually its not as bad as I thought…maybe that means it’s going to get worse, I don’t know. All three of them are moving all over the place now too. We can’t take our eyes off of them. They are moving from their stomachs to their backs, rolling back and forth. Jolynne is a scooter too. She somehow ends up on opposite ends of everything. Its funny because at night when we check on them before bed, we have noticed Mickey will be sleeping on his back, right where we put him, Georgia is on her tummy with her thumb in her mouth, and Jo is lying on her side. They all like to sleep in different positions. And sometimes, their head is where their feet were and vice versa, or they are sideways. It really is quite entertaining!

Last week, I got sick for the first time since before I was pregnant with a throat and upper respiratory infection. Being sick is just as awful as I remember it, especially when you don’t have time to rest to get better. Thank God though somehow the babies did not catch it. I tried to keep my distance but was not sure how long I was contagious before I actually started feeling bad. Actually, the weekend before I was out of town and then when I got back my sister was in the hospital so I was not home very much at all that whole week which probably spared the babies. We have a couple outings scheduled in the next few weeks that I am really excited about. Up until now, because they were so small and because I wanted to protect them from flu season, we have kept them pretty isolated from the outside world but that’s all about to change. This Saturday is pictures and then Mothers Day at home. Although I am thinking about taking one of the babies to church with me. Then two weeks later, we will be celebrating my grandmother’s birthday at moms with some close family friends, and maybe swimming. We are also taking them to Tucson that weekend to meet some more of Tommy’s side of the family. We may even venture out to dinner sometime this month as a family for the first time. I am still trying to talk Tommy into that one. I can’t wait to get them out of the house and show them off!

As for me, aside from the babies, I have been really focusing on getting back in shape. I gained 45 pounds while I was pregnant and I have lost 52 pounds, so I am now in better shape than before, and I’m not done yet. I have worked really hard to lose the weight with diet and exercise and I am really proud of myself for that, especially with everything else going on. I think part of my motivation is just wanting to be as healthy as possible for my babies. It’s just one more example that if you really put your mind to something, you can accomplish anything. I really believe that. It has been proven true for me in so many aspects of my life. I hope that my story whether it’s related to my career, or my family or my weight loss will inspire others to follow their dreams, and I hope it will inspire my children when they read this someday. Don’t get me wrong, life has been really tough at times, I’ve had to work for everything I have including my relationships with others, and I have good and bad days, but all the good things in my life, my family, my health, my friends, they make this crazy ride worth every minute!

Jo

Mickey

Georgia

They're eating and we're sleeping!

I am so excited about this update because I have so much good news to share! What a difference a month can make! Before I start on the babies I want to update on you on the complaint I filed with the State of Arizona Medical Board about the doctor who told me at 17 weeks, I should consider terminating two of the three babies. Well, I got a letter that after investigation they do not think he violated any medical codes, so I guess that is that. I am a little disappointed, but it is kind of what I figured would happen. At least I can say I did what I could, now time to move forward.

On with the good news! I will start with Mickey. If you have been following along, you know that when we brought Mickey home from the NICU he was aspirating his food, so we had to give him large amounts of rice cereal in his formula so that it did not go into his lungs. He also had a really bad reflux problem so it was like pulling teeth to get him to eat the thickened food and then he would spit it all up. I am not talking a little baby spit up. I am talking, large amounts of projectile spit up that would result in showers or baths for both of us, carpet and couch cleanings, etc. Well, Mickey had a repeat swallow study done earlier this month. This is where they give him different consistencies of liquid to drink to see if it goes in his lungs and I am THRILLED to say he is no longer aspirating and they told us we could wean him down off the rice cereal completely. Not only that, but he rarely spits up ever anymore. His reflux has most definitely improved significantly. In addition to that, in meeting with the physical therapists, his torticollis is not nearly as bad as they thought. Its actually hard to even give an accurate diagnosis of this at all. He has full range of motion in his neck and holds his head up pretty centered. We are watching it, but not as concerned as before.

Georgia just rolled over for the first time yesterday! She is the last of the babies to do this and we are so proud! She is also sucking her thumb all the time. I am not to happy about this one, but on a positive note, at least she is self soothing.

Jolynne was developing a problem with reflux as well so we got the OK to add some rice to her formula and help keep it down. We have accomplished several things with adding the rice: she is able to keep her food down, she is gaining weight and catching up to her brother and sister, and we have been able to take her Imodium medication to one time a day from three times a day. Jo has also really mellowed out over the last month. She seems happier, less anxious and able to just sit back, relax and enjoy being a baby.

All the babies are smiling and cooing and kicking. They love looking at themselves in the mirror! They are doing so well! They sit up and watch cartoons or us and they have started to really notice the dogs and each other! AND, I cannot forget to mention that last night all three slept through the night for the first time! We have been putting them to bed around 8pm and they will sleep about 6 hours until about 2am, we feed them and they sleep again until about 6 or 7 am. But last night, they slept through that 2am feeding, so hooray! Lets hope this continues. Its actually been pretty weird since we have been putting them to bed at 8pm. Tommy and I actually have a couple hours at the end of the day to wind down and do our own thing instead of rushing off to bed as soon as they go down.  I feel like my little angels are really turning a corner.

The most fun we are having lately is trying to introduce the babies to eating with a spoon. We are starting with rice cereal for now until they figure out what this is all about. We have only been trying for less than a week and its been entertaining to say the least. I have included pictures to help illustrate this adventure!

Day 1 - A Complete Disaster! All three babies screamed through the whole thing!

Before

After

  

Day 2 - A little better. Mickey did the best. Jolynne was not crying, but she could not really keep any food in her mouth either, then she feel asleep after a couple minutes sitting up. Georgia just screamed again!

Before

After

  

Day 3 - Mickey did well again, I think he likes it. Georgia did ok too. She was eating the food, but then sticking her fingers in her mouth and getting it everywhere. Jolynne just cried and then she fell asleep again. Georgia fell asleep too.

Before

After

  

Day 4 - I missed this feeding but Mickey is a pro compared to his sisters. They all did a little better this time.

Before

After

Its a work in progress. Advice welcome!

For my Dad

George Edward Horner -  January 16, 1950 - March 22, 2009

It was not that long ago

You were here, telling your jokes

Calling me up daily, just to say hi

If only we could have said goodbye

Writing has been tough since then

Putting what’s inside my head to the pen

I have found a reason to write again

Three little ones, with their little grins

Just three years ago, in the rain and wind

We let you go and tried to mend

I remember the last breath you took

And how I could hardly bare to look

Now, in heaven, it’s clear to see

You are still right there for me

Taking care of all of us

As we move forward, which we must

This poem is not to sulk or cry

But to remember the important things in life

Fathers, our super heroes for just a while

Stronger than steel, in the eyes of a child

Since you’ve been gone, a lot has changed

Our lives got sort of rearranged

At first it was extremely tough

The songs, the games, the little stuff

The close bond with you, I now share with mom

Thank you for passing that along

In our hearts, we hold you close

And remember that family is what matters most

One of my girls, we named in your honor

Georgia will always know her grandfather

Mickey, he kind of looks like me

And I look like you so, how handsome he’ll be

Our little fighter, we call her Jolynne

And just like you she likes to win

I believe they must have met you somewhere

Maybe not here, maybe up there

Angel kisses on their delicate skin

Proof of you, as their lives begin

So close they came to not making it

You must have been there to give them a lift

Thanks for all you left for me

This huge imprint, as you can see

On who I have turned out to be

A beautiful woman, with the gift of three

Someday I know I will get that chance

For one more hug and one more dance

Until then, I have a job to do

I’ll make you proud, I promise you

Then and Now

The babies were 4 months on Sunday! Its so hard to believe. I started this blog at the beginning of the pregnancy as we happily prepared for their arrival, and at the same time, just tried to make it one more day, and one more day again without losing one of them. Then through the long three months in the NICU, with all of Mickey's ups and downs and breathing issues and Jolynne's surgeries, and now they have been home a month. So much happened in such a short period of time. This time last year, Tommy and I were in Napa, sipping wine, and only discussing the possibility of children. We had hopes for one beautiful baby, if we could only just have one, how happy that would make us, how full our lives would be, and now here we are, with three little miracles, having been through hell and back it seems, to end up here. What a wonderful place to be. I have been doing alot of reflecting on this the past few days. How easy it is to forget sometimes, with little sleep and no down time, everything you overcame to get here and how close you came to losing it.

We got a bill in the mail a couple months ago from that doctor that told me I should considering terminating one or more of the babies back in July, and was rushing us off to make some drastic decision for a very high risk laser surgery. This was all based on his diagnosis of twin to twin transfusion syndrome. I remember walking out of his office that day, devastated at the thought we might lose one or two or all three and confused about what the right thing to do was. Do we kill one to save the other two or two to save the one, or do we have the surgery and risk all three? Oy! I prayed hard and those of you that have been following the blog probably remember this time well. We were ready to hop on a plane to Miami the next day for the surgery. It was the scariest time of the pregnancy. Scarier than the C section the day they were born. Well, anyway, my insurance will not cover this bill because they say the ultrasound is coded as experimental/investigational and I should call the doctors office and have them change the code or we will have to pay $1700. Experimental? Investigational? I went there because my regular doctor said they were really worried about the babies, not for some experiment. And at the time, I certainly was not thinking, I wonder if my insurance covers this? All I was thinking about was the health of my babies. So, I have been going back and forth between the doctors office, and the billing office and my insurance company since then trying to get the code changed and the bill paid, but I am getting no where. No one from the doctors office will return my calls so I am calling them every week for answers and going in circles. Finally I think I got somewhere yesterday and the claim is being reprocessed. My point to telling you all this boring insurance/billing stuff is that I was laying awake at night the longer this went on, thinking about that appointment and that ultrasound and how much stress it caused us. Thank goodness after we walked out that day we got a second opinion and decided not to do anything drastic, not to have the surgery, not to terminate, because then one of them probably Jolynne, or even Georgia may not be here. I cant even bare to think of it and now they want me to pay $1700 for being prematurely and incorrectly diagnosed? I just cant justify paying that money. Yes, we did have twin to twin transfusion syndrome but it was not as severe as the doctor said and it certainly did not warrant his recommendations. If it were a bill for the NICU, I would have no problem paying it as they saved their lives but not for this. So, after all this thinking and rehashing of that horrible exprience, I have filed a complaint with the State of Arizona Medical Board. I thought long and hard about this one and went back and forth with it. Part of me just thought, well, its in the past, they are ok now so lets move on, but I just cant bare the thought if this advice is given to some other couple and they do not know enough to get a second opinion and they do kill one of their babies based on his advice. What if? If you are going to recommend to some young couple that they consider terminating one of their babies at 17 weeks pregnant, you better be 99.5% sure that is the best thing to do and obviously in our case it was not as we have three healthy babies with us now. Maybe nothing will come of it. I do not know if he violated any medical practices but I felt like it was the right thing to express my concerns. After coming so close to losing them for no good reason, I can't just sit back and not say anything.

The happy ending is that they are all here and doing very well. We had an appointment with the developmental pediatrician last week. They are all about 2 months along developmentally, which, considering  their adjusted age (if they had been born on Jan. 5) would be 6 weeks at the time, 2 months is pretty good. They even said our little Jo is slightly ahead of her sister and brother. That just goes to show size does not always matter! They are all doing well for different reasons. While Mickey is very strong on his stomach and holding himself up and rolling, Georgia is not. She has not rolled over yet and hates her stomach but is really strong sitting up straight and holding her head up, something Mickey needs work on. They are all starting to smile too. Not really consistently but if we are facebook friends then you have seen the pictures of Mickey. He will grin and grin from ear to ear. The girls are to fast for me and I can never grab the camera in time.

The biggest concern overall is that they say Mickey has a mild case of torticollis. This means his head tilts to the right and if you look at his head from above you can see his ears are slightly lopsided. I am not really sure what to think of this yet. They made it sound like as long as we do the daily exercises and stretches with him, he can be corrected. If it doesn't then it can lead to vision problems and even the brain can grow incorrectly if he is always oriented to the right. They said it was probably from letting him sleep upright in the rock and play or the bouncers but I am having a hard time with that. He has only been home for one month, so would this not be something that started while he was in the NICU. The advice of all other doctors was to keep him upright due to his reflux, so there was a wedge under his mattress and a sling keeping him from sliding down, which they recommend we stop using so we have. But its so hard to know what the right thing to do is. He needs to be upright for his reflux, but that is contributing to his torticollis so he needs to be flat as much as possible they say. Its always changing. I hope we can get it corrected though. Poor guy. I don't want him to have to go through anything else and if the exercises don't fix it, that means a helmet, physical therapy and possibly surgery if I understand correctly. The problem is Tommy and I both work full time and have three babies so finding the time  (3 times a day) to do these exercises has been challenging so far, but we are doing our best.

Otherwise my 4 month olds are doing good. They are definitly developing little personalties. Mickey is very laid back compared to his sisters. He just hangs out and smiles and chills with mom and dad, no fussing. Georgia is the diva, she can be very demanding. She was also by herself for awhile so it makes sense. We call her our buddha baby because of her belly. Mickey may weigh more but her belly has always been bigger than her siblings. Jolynne is definitly a little more high strung. She seems more anxious than the others and I think it because of what she went through, but she is so smart. She is very perceptive and I think knows more than she gets credit for. One thing about Jolynne, you cant be fooled by her size or the fact she has had two major surgeries before she was even three months old. She is going to surprise us all just as she already has. They are so much more aware and responsive to us now. They are getting to that playful stage and its so dang cute! 24/7 entertainment! I just love the way they look at me and watching them grow. And I am so proud of how strong they have been already just as little babies. They went through twin to twin transfusion syndrome and proved the doctor wrong then after being given a less than 10% chance all three would survive, and survived being born 10 weeks early, and three months in the NICU. I think that says a lot about the people they will become.

Here is smiley...

 And Sleepy....

And Miss smarty pants...

Organized Chaos

Its been awhile since my last update, but I suppose I have a good excuse. Every extra minute I get, I am trying to get a few more minutes of sleep or even just take a few minutes to breathe. Life got crazy, real quick when the babies all came home. As Tommy says, it is organized chaos! The first week was very scary for me, I think it was hard for both Tommy and I but I tend to worry more than he does so I was scared the whole time the babies were going to have to go back to the hospital or that maybe they weren't ready, even though I know deep down the doctors and nurses there would not have let them go if they were not ready. The reason it was tough was that we were going through what most parents go through in their babies first few weeks of life, trying to get them on the same schedule, waking every two hours or less to feed them and change their diapers and figure out why they were crying. Although they are 3 months old, they act like newborns and developmentally they are newborns right now, as they were not suppose to be born until January 5th. It would not be so hard maybe if they all slept at the same and cried at the same time, but they don't, they like to take turns, which will be awesome later in life, but not so much right now. When we finally get one to settle down, somebody else starts. I will say Mickey is much more mellow than the girls, as long as he is being held he will settle right down and fall asleep, with the girls sometimes it seems like nothing will make them happy. On top of that I could tell Jolynne was not gaining any weight, and even though I had no way to prove it, every day I wondered why she wasn't getting bigger. Sure enough, a week after she left the hospital at her first doctor appointment, she had only gained 40 grams or 1 ounce....in one week! That was not good and I didn't understand, I still don't really know why, because we were doing everything exactly like we did in the hospital. On top of that Mickey was not eating very much food, and when he was he was spitting it all up, so it took us almost an hour just to feed him, he is a slow eater to begin with, then he would spit up everything, then we change clothes (his and ours), clean the couch again and start with bottle number 2! I was so afraid he was not getting enough and that he would become dehydrated.

I am happy to say that the second week went much better than the first. Mickey started to eat more and spit up less, we are down to maybe once a day now which is pretty good, and he eats almost all his food pretty consistently. As of today he weighs 11 pounds, so he is gaining weight just as he should, I think he has adjusted well to being at home. Jolynne has also started gaining weight. After that first appointment we got permission to increase her calories and that seems to have helped. We have to get the doctors ok to change anything with her food because her belly is so sensitive to everything and if we push to hard she will start losing all the nutrients in everything she eats, but our girl weighed 8 pounds today and I am very happy with that. I will spare you the details on all her poop and what it is supposed to look like, I will just say it is still not what it is supposed to be but we are working on it and at least she is gaining some weight now. Georgia is pretty predictable, she cries for food and that's about it. She weighs 9 pounds, 12 ounces now. She is the one who consistently wakes us up at the night while the other two could probably sleep a little longer and her cry is the loudest of all three. But she smiled for the first time on February 1st and my heart melted. Her and Jolynne are really starting to be more reactive to Tommy and I when we make faces or funny noises at them. I think they like us : ).

While the girls go through their fussy period between 8pm and 2am, Mickey starts his around 6 or 7am, so that's been interesting. But as long as you hold him, he is ok, so when he is awake, you will usually find him attached to either myself or Tommy or the nanny, Erin, who seems to be doing pretty well for someone with no experience with multiples. There are still some things we are working on with her but with each day I think she gets better and better with the multitasking and she is good with the babies.

Overall I think the babies are doing good, we have anywhere from 3-5 doctor appointments a week between the three of them and that is hard, but good they are being followed so closely and I will take that over going back to the hospital any day. Tommy and I are exhausted. Some days we get 4-5 hours of sleep at night and sometimes, it is more like 2-3, but it is such a great feeling to have our whole family together and start to really develop these relationships with the babies and watch them grow from or our own home rather than sitting in a hospital room.

NICU for 3 months, I am always in that mind set. I know what the flip side to everything is, after all that time in the NICU, I understand the consequences of a lot more than I would like to. Those that know me, know, I am a little more on the serious side, and I over analyze everything. Yes, I like to have fun too, but its harder for me these days. Which is one of the reasons Tommy is so good for me, we definitely balance each other out. That being said all that over analyzation is magnified now. I worry about every little thing since they have been home, what their poop looks like, is it enough, is it too much, why they spit up, how they spit up, and how often, why they are crying, every twitch, every eye roll, everything I wonder the reason behind it in fear there is something wrong and they will have to go back to the hospital. So, my new years resolution is to try and relax a little and enjoy the babies more. I am so busy worrying and stressing about them all the time, I hardly ever am able to sit back and just enjoy being with them.I realized last night when I laughed the hardest I have in a long time, that I hardly laugh at all. I spend my time at home, on my toes, ready for whatever may be next. So I am going to try and work on that. I have wanted children my whole life and I have waited for three months for them to all be home, I want to enjoy it. I am going to have to learn how to do this without taking up a new hobby, I just don't have time for that.

That does not mean I will stop being overly cautious with them though, they are still fragile preemies, even though they are bigger now, their bodies are super sensitive and hopefully our guests or anyone else they come into contact with understands that if I correct them when they are doing something with the babies or ask them to wash their hands, its just too risky for my babies to not do be careful like that. If they get sick, it could be extremely detrimental to their long term health and affect the rest of their lives so some things I just can't relax about.

Tommy and I had their newborn pictures taken last Saturday. Something else I have been waiting for. I can finally send out announcements (4 months later) We are so excited to see how they turn out. The one we did get to see  they look so peaceful, if only you knew what went on behind the scenes to get them to look like that. It was an exhausting couple hours, but it will be so worth it. Before we had those pictures done, Tommy and I decided to do our own photo shoot on their 3 month birthday. I am posting the pictures below so you can see how much fun everyone had. It is kind of how the session on Saturday went only with a much better ending. I guess we should have just waited for the professionals. LOL. The pictures are good for a laugh. Mickey's progression throughout is the funniest to me. Enjoy!

And a more peaceful moment with Tommy and the girls...