Organized Chaos

Its been awhile since my last update, but I suppose I have a good excuse. Every extra minute I get, I am trying to get a few more minutes of sleep or even just take a few minutes to breathe. Life got crazy, real quick when the babies all came home. As Tommy says, it is organized chaos! The first week was very scary for me, I think it was hard for both Tommy and I but I tend to worry more than he does so I was scared the whole time the babies were going to have to go back to the hospital or that maybe they weren't ready, even though I know deep down the doctors and nurses there would not have let them go if they were not ready. The reason it was tough was that we were going through what most parents go through in their babies first few weeks of life, trying to get them on the same schedule, waking every two hours or less to feed them and change their diapers and figure out why they were crying. Although they are 3 months old, they act like newborns and developmentally they are newborns right now, as they were not suppose to be born until January 5th. It would not be so hard maybe if they all slept at the same and cried at the same time, but they don't, they like to take turns, which will be awesome later in life, but not so much right now. When we finally get one to settle down, somebody else starts. I will say Mickey is much more mellow than the girls, as long as he is being held he will settle right down and fall asleep, with the girls sometimes it seems like nothing will make them happy. On top of that I could tell Jolynne was not gaining any weight, and even though I had no way to prove it, every day I wondered why she wasn't getting bigger. Sure enough, a week after she left the hospital at her first doctor appointment, she had only gained 40 grams or 1 ounce....in one week! That was not good and I didn't understand, I still don't really know why, because we were doing everything exactly like we did in the hospital. On top of that Mickey was not eating very much food, and when he was he was spitting it all up, so it took us almost an hour just to feed him, he is a slow eater to begin with, then he would spit up everything, then we change clothes (his and ours), clean the couch again and start with bottle number 2! I was so afraid he was not getting enough and that he would become dehydrated.

I am happy to say that the second week went much better than the first. Mickey started to eat more and spit up less, we are down to maybe once a day now which is pretty good, and he eats almost all his food pretty consistently. As of today he weighs 11 pounds, so he is gaining weight just as he should, I think he has adjusted well to being at home. Jolynne has also started gaining weight. After that first appointment we got permission to increase her calories and that seems to have helped. We have to get the doctors ok to change anything with her food because her belly is so sensitive to everything and if we push to hard she will start losing all the nutrients in everything she eats, but our girl weighed 8 pounds today and I am very happy with that. I will spare you the details on all her poop and what it is supposed to look like, I will just say it is still not what it is supposed to be but we are working on it and at least she is gaining some weight now. Georgia is pretty predictable, she cries for food and that's about it. She weighs 9 pounds, 12 ounces now. She is the one who consistently wakes us up at the night while the other two could probably sleep a little longer and her cry is the loudest of all three. But she smiled for the first time on February 1st and my heart melted. Her and Jolynne are really starting to be more reactive to Tommy and I when we make faces or funny noises at them. I think they like us : ).

While the girls go through their fussy period between 8pm and 2am, Mickey starts his around 6 or 7am, so that's been interesting. But as long as you hold him, he is ok, so when he is awake, you will usually find him attached to either myself or Tommy or the nanny, Erin, who seems to be doing pretty well for someone with no experience with multiples. There are still some things we are working on with her but with each day I think she gets better and better with the multitasking and she is good with the babies.

Overall I think the babies are doing good, we have anywhere from 3-5 doctor appointments a week between the three of them and that is hard, but good they are being followed so closely and I will take that over going back to the hospital any day. Tommy and I are exhausted. Some days we get 4-5 hours of sleep at night and sometimes, it is more like 2-3, but it is such a great feeling to have our whole family together and start to really develop these relationships with the babies and watch them grow from or our own home rather than sitting in a hospital room.

NICU for 3 months, I am always in that mind set. I know what the flip side to everything is, after all that time in the NICU, I understand the consequences of a lot more than I would like to. Those that know me, know, I am a little more on the serious side, and I over analyze everything. Yes, I like to have fun too, but its harder for me these days. Which is one of the reasons Tommy is so good for me, we definitely balance each other out. That being said all that over analyzation is magnified now. I worry about every little thing since they have been home, what their poop looks like, is it enough, is it too much, why they spit up, how they spit up, and how often, why they are crying, every twitch, every eye roll, everything I wonder the reason behind it in fear there is something wrong and they will have to go back to the hospital. So, my new years resolution is to try and relax a little and enjoy the babies more. I am so busy worrying and stressing about them all the time, I hardly ever am able to sit back and just enjoy being with them.I realized last night when I laughed the hardest I have in a long time, that I hardly laugh at all. I spend my time at home, on my toes, ready for whatever may be next. So I am going to try and work on that. I have wanted children my whole life and I have waited for three months for them to all be home, I want to enjoy it. I am going to have to learn how to do this without taking up a new hobby, I just don't have time for that.

That does not mean I will stop being overly cautious with them though, they are still fragile preemies, even though they are bigger now, their bodies are super sensitive and hopefully our guests or anyone else they come into contact with understands that if I correct them when they are doing something with the babies or ask them to wash their hands, its just too risky for my babies to not do be careful like that. If they get sick, it could be extremely detrimental to their long term health and affect the rest of their lives so some things I just can't relax about.

Tommy and I had their newborn pictures taken last Saturday. Something else I have been waiting for. I can finally send out announcements (4 months later) We are so excited to see how they turn out. The one we did get to see  they look so peaceful, if only you knew what went on behind the scenes to get them to look like that. It was an exhausting couple hours, but it will be so worth it. Before we had those pictures done, Tommy and I decided to do our own photo shoot on their 3 month birthday. I am posting the pictures below so you can see how much fun everyone had. It is kind of how the session on Saturday went only with a much better ending. I guess we should have just waited for the professionals. LOL. The pictures are good for a laugh. Mickey's progression throughout is the funniest to me. Enjoy!

And a more peaceful moment with Tommy and the girls...