Friday, July 29, 2011

Update and Gender News!

First I would like to thank each and every one of you for all your prayers and messages of concern. I have already mentioned to some that I was so moved by your thoughts and prayers. It is proof that despite all that goes on in the world with all the divisions that exist between people of different political and religious beliefs, that there is hope for the future if we all stick together and support one another. To have people I hardly know start prayer chains for Tommy and I speaks a thousand words. They don't get anything out of it. They are doing it because they genuinely care. Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

If you have sent me a personal message or email, and I have not gotten back to you, my apologies, it has been a roller coaster of a week, but I do read all your messages, they do not go unnoticed and they do lift my spirits!

Without boring you with all the details, lets just say that after spending most of this week on the phone with doctors on both sides of the country, forwarding on my medical records and getting another ultrasound yesterday to confirm the diagnosis, all hope is not lost. Although my babies are in an early stage of TTTS, and they are showing signs that things could progress quickly to a more severe level, for now (meaning this week), they are stable, and Tommy and I will not be forced to make the decision we were presented with on Tuesday. It has been made clear to us that this could change at any moment and we need to be prepared to act, and so we are. There is a doctor in Miami who is supposed to be one of the best. He is reviewing my records after every appt. and monitoring the situation from there. If after our appt next week or at any time in the coming weeks, the babies do get worse, we can fly there and he will preform the laser procedure to fix the problem. There are still many risks involved if that is needed but he assured me the chances are more like 60-70% all three babies would survive rather than the 10% chance given to us on Tuesday. In addition, my wonderful insurance will cover the cost of my travel and lodging if we have to do that. I am so lucky to have such great insurance! That being said there is no way that Tommy and I will be choosing to selectively terminate any of our babies. We could not have done it anyway, but now we have hope and other options. As far as that other doctor on Tuesday, I am trying to decide whether to file a formal complaint. What if some other poor couple given the same diagnosis makes some drastic decision based on what he says when it might not even be necessary. Its a very scary thought.

So for now, until I am told otherwise I am focusing on rest and nutrition. All I do is eat and I am never hungry. How can I be? Protiein. Protein. Protein. We are also planning to move forward as normal with all the planning. We have to have these fun things to focus on so we don't get caught up worrying about worse case scenarios and what ifs.

Given all of this I happy to announce that we are expecting 2 girls and 1 boy! Team Pink AND Team Blue! The girls are the twins and the boy is the singleton. They are already developing their own personalities. The boy is doing every thing he can to stay as far away from the girls as possible. At every ultrasound he has distanced himself further. He is always low key and just minding his own business. Baby B is the girl who is struggling right now in her development. She does not cause any problems but being the middle child at this point she is definitely getting pushed around a little by her siblings. I have a feeling though that once she gets stronger she will not take it anymore. Baby A is our other girl and the problem child. She is always hogging the camera and acts a bit like a drama queen. She is also always kicking her brother and sister in the face and out of the way. She will be trouble.

So, I guess all of your prayers are working but we still need them. Our babies are still sick and there is a chance they could get worse at any minute. We are choosing to focus on the positive but please don't stop praying for them as they cannot help them selves right now. I truly believe this all could end well if we don't give up on them and keep fighting for them.

One last thank you to all the people who got me in touch with the right doctors and experts who could help us make the right decision. Without your help, we might have made a terrible mistake and our babies would not have had the chance they do now!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Tough Road Ahead...

This is the update I have been avoiding since my appointment last Thursday when I hit 16 weeks. I was praying the prognosis would get better but it has not. I should be updating you right now on what the genders are or what their names are for that matter but I regret I am unable to do so, not because I don't know but because I want that announcement to be associated with happier times and this is not one of them.

I warn this is a long update but I appreciate those that take the time to read it. Tommy and I need all the support and prayers we can get. It is a difficult situation to explain but I will try my best.

So, in a nutshell our twins A & B are in between stage 1 and 2 of twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS). All 3 babies have normal anatomy and heartbeats, however, Baby B has very little fluid and they cannot find her bladder. This is because it is deflated I guess, not being used as she has little fluid. Baby B is stuck and floating above Baby A but according to the doctor babies don't float. This is another indicator of the problem. We were given 4 options all of which pretty much suck:

1. Do nothing - this risks the lives of all 3. Baby A could get to much fluid and go into heart failure, Baby B would not get enough to grow and would not survive, this could lead to pre term labor in which we would lose C as well.

2. Terminate both A & B babies. This poses little risk and would give Baby C a chance.

3. Terminate baby B only - this gives A & C a chance but is riskier for pre mature rupture of membranes. 80% chance they will survive.

4. Laser surgery to sever the blood vessels connecting A & B. The only option with a chance that all 3 will survive at 10% - yes he said 10%. Also a higher risk for premature labor and losing all three. So its the only chance of saving all three but you also risk losing all three. The chance for premature rupture of membranes is the same as option 3.

I was overall not impressed with the doctor we met with today. If we choose the surgery he sends us to Houston because he does not have enough experience. I felt like he was pulling numbers out of a hat and guessing because we have triplets and not twins. He made the situation and every option seem very bleak and I have heard so many positive stories and out comes the past few days. I feel in my heart we need a second opinion. I know realistically we are facing losing one or all of our babies but I cannot give up based on one doctors prognosis. We have called a doctor in LA and sent them an email. We are prepared to go out there if need be if they think they can help us.

Its hard for me to bare the thought of losing any of our babies but do we risk losing all three? An impossible decision. As the doctor said today "no matter what you do, the outlook is not good". Thanks for the pep talk doc!

So, what do you do when it does not matter what you do? I pray. That is all I can do and ask that you do the same. When you are at the end of your rope, tie a know and hang on. Don't lose hope, especially if its all you have. All these things I repeat to myself throughout the last few very long days as we awaited this appointment. At some point God decided to bless us with three babies and I can't give up on them quite yet. I have been through enough the last couple years to know I am one of the strongest people I know. I have to be. And I married the best man there is. So, somehow, some way we have to keep moving forward for their sake.

I ask for your prayers. I am not sure where the next few days or weeks will take us...Texas, LA are both options. I know there will be points where I will start to lose hope or want to give up. Please God, don't let me.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Painting the Nursery

Tommy and my mom spent the day yesterday painting what will be the nursery. Below are some pics. Its hard to see the true color in the pictures but it looks great. The pics make it look lighter than it is.

As you can see, Pepper was Tommy's little helper. He was very interested in what he was doing. The blue boxes taped on the carpet is where the cribs will go. Not much room for anything else, maybe a glider and that's it. We do have some creative ideas for the room though. I will post updated pics as it starts to come together!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

14 Weeks!

Well, its been a very busy day! I hit 14 weeks on Thursday! Yipee - and man did I have some growing pains this week! My back is already killing  me and I know its just going to get worse. That's ok though, some days are better than others, and it will all be worth it to hold 3 healthy, happy babies in my arms at the end.

We bought a used peg perego triple stroller today. We got a great deal and it is in pretty good condition. It was like less than half of what a new one cost. We have to fold one of the seats in the van down in the back because it is 5 feet long closed! I am calling it "The Beast", but I could probably call our van that too. :-) I don't see how anyone with triplets could manage now without a minivan.

My birthday is coming up this week and we did a little celebration today with my family! Tommy got me a Coach diaper bag! It is super cute! He is so sweet! This week I am 33. Something about 3's this year! We are going to register on Monday. I hope we pick the right stuff. Do we really need three of everything? We have some great ideas for the nursery and have narrowed down the paint colors. Painting is taking place next week. 14 weeks - Gosh! I still can't believe this all really happening!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

It's happening....

It's happening...I am turning into my mother. Actually, that is not so bad, I actually hope I will be as good of a mother as she is. Although, there was a time, as with most young girls, I swore I would not be anything like my parents. Turns out my mom was right about most everything I thought she was wrong about. Silly me!

We bought a new mini van yesterday. A MINI VAN! I think I told myself a million times, I would never drive a minivan. They are so not cool! SUVS are much cooler. Ha! Well, turns out, SUVS do not have the space we need. They had enough space for 3 babies but nothing else, including the stroller that I have heard is the size of a school bus. Actually, I think someone actually recommended we buy a school bus - very funny! But the SUVS have no cargo space so forget trips to Disneyland. Where would we put the luggage? The Odyssey has tons of space! Its actually very nice with lots of little add ons that every parent needs, a DVD player, mini cooler, mirror that reflects to the back and you keep an eye on whats going on and I did not feel THAT uncool. I think its all a mind set anyway. I could not be happier with our new minivan or the fact that I am slowly turning into my mother and I can't wait for the rest of my family to get here, so I can start saying things like "Because I said so" Ha ha ha.

So, my mom just bought a new sports car and I just bought a minivan. So it goes I guess. Life is funny!

Friday, July 1, 2011

13 Weeks!

Today was a great day! More than great! Wonderful. Last week I left the doctor feeling nervous and unsure. They were not able to get the measurements they needed because the babies were not cooperating. They are very stubborn already! For some reason my mom and husband think this is funny....I can't imagine why. Anyway, today they saw what they needed and the babies look great, healthy, at very little risk for any abnormalities. Yay! Also, my hematoma blood clot was barely noticeable. Its there, but much smaller. So small, she said, she would not have noticed it if I had not brought it up! This is such a huge weight off my shoulders! I still have to take it easy, but at least I can worry less and enjoy the pregnancy more.

The doctor even hinted at what the sexes are but I can't share that just yet. Not until they are sure. For now though, we have an idea and it was very exciting to see! My mind is spinning!

The doctor told me today that most women with triplets can expect some kind of bed rest around 24 weeks and that it may include hospital bed rest. She said enjoy the next month or so because it will be harder and harder for me to do anything. Tommy and I are going to try and get as much done as we can now so later I don't feel like I am missing out on any of it. At 24 weeks, I am supposed to be as big as someone who is full term. Oh my, I will be so big!

That's all for now - healthy babies - healthy momma - lots to do! :-)