Tuesday, January 10, 2012

So close, but...

I can see a light at the end of the long NICU tunnel. Its definitely there. Last week, I walked in and my baby boy did not have any oxygen in his nose. I lost my voice, my ability to speak, and I just stood there, in shock. This was a GREAT day, and one I was not expecting so soon. Mickey, who had from day one either had a tube down his throat or up his nose, was breathing all by himself and he was doing great! That moment might have been the best moment for me so far in this NICU journey next to their birth date and Georgia coming home. Its a close call only because it was bitter sweet leaving the other two there. My first baby coming home was an amazing feeling though and honestly my Georgia being home is probably the only thing that has kept me from losing my mind since, so thank you baby Georgia, you are a big help to mommy. Also to see my son who has struggled so and worked so hard just to breath and eat, do this on his own, my heart was melting. I was in tears. He lasted about 4 hours before they had to put the oxygen back in his nose, but he proved he could do it, he just needed a little more time, and for the first time, it was ok that he went back on oxygen. normally I would have been frustrated, but I was so happy he was able to go without at all, I didn't care it might be a few more days before it would become permanent.

Since then, he has been weened down slowly every 12 hours and if all continues to go well, he will be off the oxygen permanently tomorrow at this time. Go Mickey! You can do it! They also started feeding him again with super thick formula and he is doing well. They took his feeding tube out today! So, his goals are to get off the oxygen tomorrow, keep the feeding tube out by eating his full amount of food every 3 hours on his own (this is going to be tough as it takes a lot of energy) and no heart rate drops in 5 days and our little boy can come home. It sounds easy right? Its not. He is so close, but.... it wont be easy for him. I promise him every day that one day soon everything wont be so hard.

This is my baby boy without oxygen!


Jolynne has blown everyone away. She is tolerating her full feeding, but they wont take her IV out until she gains 25 grams or more for three days in a row. You might think this would be easy. But its not. She gained the last two nights but lost tonight, so we start over again. She is so so close, but....

Two months ago we all would have said Jolynne will be home last, then the past couple weeks all I have heard is that she will be home in no time at all and that Mickey has a ways to go. After today, I wonder will Mickey make it home before his sister? Its a race to the finish line. They are both so close, but still have these little hills they must climb first. For me it is the same roller coaster as always. Lately I have been so optimistic because they both are doing so well. I am so proud of my baby's. They have come so far from October 26th. They are right there! On the other hand, its tough being so close and having to wait one more week, one more day, one more second.. Its like anything else related to time I guess, the closer you get to it, the further away it seems to be. I just want them home. It seems silly to me at times that Jo stay in the hospital just because she needs to gain more weight. She can breath, she can eat, why does she need to stay? Well, they have good reason I guess, I try to remember that they are doing what is best for her.

Jo in a "milk coma"

I went back to work yesterday, part time at least until they are all home. Its actually good for me I think to not be at the hospital all day, every day. Funny how we all need a break from work once in awhile, but then sometimes going to work can provide us with a break. I am sure not everyone will understand that, but some will. It will be slightly more challenging when they are all home to juggle everything. You may wonder how I am going work and take care of three babies, and the answer is I have no idea.

This makes it all worth it!

So, all in all its good news, both Mickey and Jolynne could both be home this time next week if things go well. I cant even believe it. Please say a prayer for them and hope we don't have any more set backs. It is day 77 in the NICU, 11 weeks tomorrow. At this point in our journey, I know well enough that it can change quickly. I won't be surprised anymore if it doesn't happen, but I am hoping (just like I have every other day since they were born) that one day this week, I will walk in and they will tell me I can take them home.

1 comment:

  1. That is beautiful and you are amazing! You are doing so wonderful and those babies have a great mom (and dad of course). You will look back at these days soon as it will seem so distant.

    There is so much love for those little 3 and I really love reading your blog. It amazes me how you have time and energy to do it but it is something you can always look back to and re-read your thoughts and what happened. That will be great to share with Georgia, Jolynne, and Mickey one day!

    Thanks for letting us all in your life in this way. :)

    Michele <3